Can a Stroke Make You Stronger?

Almost five years ago, I had a massive stroke.  There was not much left.
(Fortunately, I still seemed to be able to think.) The doctors thought I never
would be able to sit up in a wheelchair, so they almost ordered one with
wings to hold me up.  I still have the chair they did order.  I keep it
because it is comfortable,  not because it has wings.

First, I must tell you how to manage a stroke.  Self-pity may be deserved, but
it will not attract friends.  It's better to try to move on with your life.
(When people ask how you are, what they want to hear is the Cliff Notes
version.  They are busy with their own problems.)

So, avoid talking too much about yourself  avoid being self-absorbed.

It's important that you learn to compete with other people that did not have a
stroke.  If you want people to take you seriously (and not regard you as only a
charity case), you have to beat them at their own game.

Refuse to have your life marginalized by those trying to protect you.  There is
no reason your life has to be limited.  (This has been difficult for me.  It's
hard to say, I don't want your sympathy or help)  Believe in yourself.
(Don't let well-intended people baby you -- take your independence away.  Be
especially wary of this in a hospital.)

Take care of the body and brain the stroke left behind.  You only have one set
of parts.  You can't trade them in.  You can't replace them.  Watch your weight,
your circulation, your cholesterol, your blood pressure, and avoid stress.
That's right.  Watch all of these factors.  (If you have not realized it, this
is the only body you will get.)

When you move, your body probably will feel stiff.  Consequently, you'll find
yourself sitting a lot.  This sedentary lifestyle will cause you to gain weight.
And, as you probably know, obesity is a risk factor that stroke survivors should
avoid.

Make maximum use of technology.  Always carry a cell phone.  (A cell phone has
been especially useful to me when I've fallen and cut my face.  It also comes in
handy when you're sitting in a car while you wife is in a store shopping.)  And
use e-mail when you can.  (People will never realize that you've had stroke.)
For example, I've used e-mail to reconnect with high-school friends and to help
these friends reconnect with their friends. Take support where you find it.

Remember that most everything still is possible.  Everything just takes more
time.  Be patient with yourself!

If you can, find work.  It will help your self-esteem.  And it will be good for
you to interact with people.

Practice oral communication. (People judge your intelligence by the way you
speak.)

Spend a lot of time with younger, healthier, stronger people.  Try to be like
them.  (Better still, try to beat them.)

This may be a clich, but it's true.  Use it or loose it.  Keep trying!!!

Recognize that your recovery may take months.  And it may take years.  Again, be
patient with yourself.  No two strokes are the same.

I believe many of life's limitations are mental.  Take a risk!  You even may
have to fall several times.  (By the way, I've learned that facial cuts bleed a
lot.)  Learn to get back up  by yourself.

You may have to deal with depression.  This is normal.  Just don't  STAY
depressed.

Most people  even doctors -- don't expect much of a stroke survivor.  You are
going to have to fight this negative stereotype.

But don't overlook the opportunity to inspire others.  They will admire you just
for not giving up.

Even a stroke can bring advantages to you.  Do you think enduring the
consequences of a tragedy made you a stronger person?  Most people do not
recognize this, but you are.